I'll bet she douches with gravy.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
