so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?