Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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I miss vodka workout Fridays
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today