Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me