Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
