you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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