Betty ford says i'm here all night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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