Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
