He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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