She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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