i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
