operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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