a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and she was petting her beer can
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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