Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
