You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
