I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
