Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
