Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
