I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
