my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
