4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
