Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
