Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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