remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
