no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
