i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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