why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
