I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Randomize
