i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
