i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
