Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
