he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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