i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
someone owes me an orgasm
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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