When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
two words: eviction party
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
