Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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