Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
