Do you still have your period?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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