Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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