I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
