Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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