Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
