I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
