Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
