did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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