Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
