The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
