Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
