i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
