I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
