So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
