conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Fuck appropriateness.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
