what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
