Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
