He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
