So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
