I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
