i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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