honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
