I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
