I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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